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9:08 p.m. - 03.02.05 five parties in one night. waking up sunday afternoon on a bunk bed in a lower haight apartment. walking the walk of shame in the rain back home. it all started saturday morning. davemarr had invited me over to a few parties. so naturally, i had to get an outfit. actually, i was due for a new look. so i thought i'd hit up the usual mission thrift stores up to make use with the money i had. but once inside, i couldn't find anything. i left the mission and headed over to crossroads in the castro to see if i had better luck. i didn't. so i called davemarr to rescue me with his hip fashion sense. we picked out quite a few things for me to try on and had finally settled on some cargo pants and this green and black somewhat shiny shirt. i don't care much for the shirt, but he told me it looked good. so i bought. i was really close to buying these $40 leather pants, but i didn't think i was quite yet ready for that look. but they did fit great and this strange sense of sexiness came over me. if anything, i'll buy them for burning man, if they're still around. cafe flore just got their liquor license, so the first stop of the night was at their grand opening private party. the sisters of indulgence were there, blessing us with their presence. feeling in the spirit, i decided to start up with a few dirty martinis. normally, i'd gag when i start with a martini, but these were good. very good. so good, i had about three within the hour. the night progressed and before i knew it, a big fat magician was magically making the jack of clubs appear in my pants. no joke. i have the card to prove it. and to make the night more interesting, i got to flirt with a hot crippled boy. well he wasn't really crippled, he had on a leg brace. i tend to gravitate towards the wounded, knowing that it would be much easier to talk to me than to run away. plus, it created the opportunity for me to make myself available if he ever needed a sponge bath. he got my number. so we got to talking for the rest of the time we were there, and before i knew it, we were kissing and i was fondling his mildly hairy chest inside his shirt. it turned out that he was a DJ for the night and the beckoned him back to the DJ booth. i told him to meet us later at SFunderground for another party we were hitting up. soon after, we went to hit up another party. alex was having a little get together at his apartment. at this point, i was already trashed with one too many martinis. but the night was young and i was having a good time. i didn't feel as incapacitated as i thought i would be. but i must've been, because in mid-conversation with ria, the mojito drink in my hand jumped out and hit the floor between us, drenching the carpet. but all was well with paper towels in hand and alex with the vacuum. the whole time, i kept threatening davemarr that if we didn't make it to SFunderground in time, i'd miss seeing the DJ boy. he thought i was being silly, because apparently he didn't think he was that cute. but soon enough, we hopped in the van with christian and miguel, who were with us since cafe flore, and we were on our way to SFunderground. the club was hoppin. the music was good and the visuals, provided by dave's friend cory, were amazing. cory had about three diamond-shaped screens spinning from the ceiling that displayed his projections, an eclectic mix of imagery. we grabbed some beer and met up with some people from cafe flore. i was excited and feeling sexy in my new outfit. lots of hot boys were everywhere. we ran into cory and i wanted to congratulate him on his visuals, but found hands touching the inside of his shirt. soon enough, we were making out against the wall as they called him back to the DJ booth. out in the back patio, i ran into a guy i hooked up with awhile back. we never hung out again because i lost his number. but i had liked our time together. we talked for awhile, kissed a little. but i felt awkward to continue because i had just made out with cory who was just inside. i was also eagerly looking for DJ boy, who i still wanted to see more of. between hook-up guy and cory, i saw finally saw DJ boy walk out to the back patio. he ran into davemarr and within seconds they were making out. so i stepped up to see what's up, and the two of them were so out of it, i thought it was best if i just let it be. but not without a little more cop and feel of the DJ boy. there was even talk of a three-way, but i knew davemarr wouldn't be into it, and i was tempted to push the idea further, but it wouldn't have been worth it just to get play from the DJ boy. plus, i had two boys there that night that wanted me and i was no where near finished flirting. i went back inside to meet up with cory, but they called last call and the club was ending. as i waited for him to clean up, this guy walked up to the booth to tell cory about his after-party, turned to me, introduced himself, invited me to his party, and i don't know how it happened, but we were making out. cory was finished packing up and i said, "i just made out with gary." davemarr and the DJ boy vanished, so cory, christian, miguel, and i hopped into christian's van and we were off to cory's place. he wanted to drop of his stuff before heading off to gary's party. but across the street from cory's apartment, they were having a party. so naturally, we crashed it. everyone was really cool and cory was really excited to finally meet his neighbors. apparently, it was someone's birthday and the guy was crashed out on a bed in one of the bedrooms where people were hanging out. the boys decided to pose with him on the bed as they took pictures. after chatting up our new friends a bit, we were off. gary's party was a little crazy. that part of the night was kind of a blur. but hook-up guy was there. and even though i was with cory, i thought i'd spend a little time with him. he wanted me to go home with him, but i was already set on going home with cory that night. i felt bad, because i like him, but i didn't want ditch the guy i came to the party with. hook-up guy soon realized that and became a little stand-offish towards me. i'd still like to see him sometime later. but we'll see. i've been meaning to call him this week, but unsure how he'd feel about that. i was able to procure his number early on in the evening back at SFunderground. shortly after, cory and i headed back up to his apartment in the pouring rain. we decided to walk since it wasn't far. stopping along the way to make out and perform public indecency, with me blowing him on the sidewalk just so i can say that i had given a blowjob in the rain. saturday night was intense. if i ever feel unsexy or unattractive, i should go back to that night and see how ridiculous it is that i would feel that way. it was an amazing night and i had an amazing time. i wonder how it would've been if i had a boyfriend. all this pining over having one person in my life is starting to feel kind of fruitless. i know that person will come along when the time comes. but, maybe i'm truly not ready for a relationship. maybe, i'm not done being single. but then again, maybe if i had one person with me the whole night, i wouldn't have jumped from guy to guy all night. in a way, it was like i had to choose between guys and was afraid i was gonna hurt someone in the process. and having one "stolen" from me wasn't much fun either. (or was the DJ boy just choosing someone other than me. which is equally not as much fun.) being a slut has it rewards. but i don't know how much longer i could do it. it's another thing that to add to the "everything feels so temporary" list. i want so much more. but i'm also starting to feel extremely happy with what i got. and then, richard calls. bridge. cross. later.
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