it's nice to feel beautiful
| <<-- : 02.21.03 : -->> |
11:03 p.m.apparently i have a cousin who is japanese. my mom's cousin and her sister and her sister's daughter are visiting from japan. i walked in to a living room full of family. she introduced me to them. it's interesting to know that i have family all over the world. most of which i haven't met yet. all i could hear from them was how "maganda" and "pogi" i was. (that's beautiful and handsome in filipino) it's always nice to hear that and it would lead to me blushing and leaving the room.
today must be my day to feel beautiful. i went out with carina today after work, instead of staying and making up hours. (because spending money instead of making money is always good!) we had dinner and watched a movie. it was cool. we had fun. but, afterwards, we went to starbucks. carina went to the restroom and i ordered for us. the girl at the counter seemed to be extra smiley. it was cute. i think she thought i was cute. no. really. it was weird. the people in line before me didn't get much response. i felt flattered. but as she was asking for my name, carina walked right up. i had to ask her if she wanted anything, but for some odd reason i was compelled to take action so that the girl behind the counter wouldn't think we were together. it was strange. very strange. right away, i turned to carina and said:
"so, did you call mark?" (knowing full well that she couldn't call mark right now cuz he was mad at her.)
that was weird. the girl was cute. but i'm gay. what was that all about? strange.
and then we went outside and carina and i were talking while i was smoking a cigarette. this girl passed by and we made total eye contact and she smiled at me! whoa! score! i'm must be cute. it's nice to get responses like that from girls. too bad, they can't be gay men.
lately i've just felt so ugly, inside and out. it's nice to feel beautiful for a change. to be noticed. i wish i could feel this way more often.
by the way. "daredevil"- not a good movie. i'm a comic book fan. i am. i love the shit. but this movie was too cheesy even for me. i expected cheese. but not this much. it was horrible. god, i could have seen this coming. but i had to watch it. for novelty's sake. i was very dissappointed. they tried to cram so much crap into two hours. it didn't work. fight scenes and effects were fun. that's about it.
signing off.
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