age ain't nothin but a numbah
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11:35 a.m.

so last night i went on a date with a guy i've been talking to online/on the phone all week. he was a pretty cool guy. i thought we really hit it off on the phone. it was nice talking to him til late at night for like two nights in a row. and it would be like i would call him as soon as i got off work, it was kind of like dating someone again, even if it was brief.

but we met up last night, and finally saw each other in person. i don't know what it was, but i guess we didn't click. i hate this. i hate meeting people online and talking to them on the phone, assuming that everything's going to go perfectly when we hang out in person. but i was just not feeling it. we were suppose to go to dinner and then watch a movie, chicago. so i did laundry, i washed my car, inside and out. and i was looking forward to a nice romantic evening. but when i picked him up, he was like, "hey." and he shook my hand. what the hell? okay, whatever. that's fine. we've only met for the first time. but i guess i didn't really find him as attractive as i thought i would. but i still wanted to have a good time.

so, i ask him, "are you hungry? do you want to get something to eat?" or more like, "where do you wanna go for dinner?"

and he was just like, "it doesn't matter, it's up to you."

ugghhhh.

it was like that the whole night. so i just went to the town center to watch the movie. so i was like, "do you want to get coffee?"

he was, "sure, it's up to you."

so we get coffee. i didn't even want dinner now, no matter how much i was starving. i didn't eat earlier because i thought we were going to have a nice dinner.

the whole time in the car and walking around before the movie started, he seemed awkward. i don't know why exactly, but it just felt uncomfortable. i tried to be a good sport and keep the conversation going. it was like the only way we could talk was if we weren't looking at each other. or for me, anyway, it was like when i was driving and staring at the road, talking to him felt like we were talking on the phone, which was cool. it got a little less uncomfortable later on when we got coffee. and we got into conversation a little bit more. i guess ice was broken, and it became easier. but then right after we had those two hours of not communicating, and that was it.

the movie was great. it was unbelievably good. i liked it a lot. i knew the broadway soundtrack a little bit, but i didn't know what to expect from the storyline. i haven't seen chicago on stage or anything so i had nothing to compare it to. but as a film, i loved it. i think it's a good flick and anyone should go see it.

but after the movie, i was like, "do you wanna do anything else?"

and again, "i don't know, it's up to you," he says. "i'm up for anything."

just vaguely vague vagueness. i'm not a big fan of that. usually that means someone would just wanna go and fool around. but that's not him. he said that he's not into that right off the bat when we started talking. which is completely cool. which is why i thought this was going to be a romantic evening. something i haven't done in a long time. so what he really meant by being "up for anything" is what that he really was up for anything and not going to suggest anything if his life depended on it. how should i know what he would want to do? i'm not going to read his mind.

plus, i was really happy about him being my age. dating someone the same age as me. i haven't done that too much. i always end up dating guys older or younger, and i really want to be with someone at at least around my age, so we would have more in common. but in this case, it wasn't happening. we were just so far off different. i don't understand. i guess because he was just so tall or something, and the fact that he's a student teacher, he was practically a teacher. he was just a little more mature than me. it wasn't what i want right now. something just wasn't clicking in that area. i can't pinpoint it, like a lot of things.

i also just expected more last night. more laughs, more conversation, more chemistry at least. after the movie, i just wanted to go home. even if there was chemistry, i was getting nothing from his side. he just seemed distant and bland. i felt like i was doing all the work to get us to know each other a little bit more to at least decipher if there was possibility for a friendship. but i guess not. i don't know what i was thinking about going on an online date. but how else am i suppose to meet guys? this is ridiculous. there's gottta be a better way to do this.

where is my fucking knight in shining armour!?!

okay enough. done. breath. i'm fine.

i guess it's back to continous episodes of sex and the city.

oh yeah, on a lighter note, i finally got my gold membership yesterday, if you haven't already noticed. i love it. and i'm changing my template again. but this is it for now, until i can come up with something clever and original. we'll see.

until then.



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cyclists - 04.06.07
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read me - 03.29.07
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