i'm sure i'll be fine
| <<-- : 12.30.02 : -->> |
11:55 p.m.so it's almost midnight and i can't go to sleep. i've been laying in my bed for the last hour desperately trying to fall asleep being that i really have to go back to work tomorrow. i wasn't intending on writing an entry for today, but oh well. i guess it's fate. so here goes:
today, i went to the gym. i had a good work out. i'm pretty surprised at myself for going three days in a row. i hope i can keep it up. one of my new year's resolutions is to go at least five times a week. i'm starting to feel somewhat of results. i'm definitely sore, but i'm getting use to it everyday. so i'm going to try and work out before i go in tomorrow. i'm a little more motivated to go to the gym right when i wake up. but that's usually after i've slept in and had tons of sleep, so i don't know about butt-early in the morning when the sun's not even out. we'll see.
so i got home from the gym, and i went online. i hoped that i would run into someone to let me know about tomorrow night. i have no idea what we're doing. no one's emailed me back, no one's called. oops. i was going to call missa today. i forgot. here's why: i ended up meeting up with someone else online. i know i need to stop. but it's getting addicting. i can't get into this again. but i met up with this guy, and we just hung out. he seems pretty cool. he's into graphic design, which i'm into, and he showed me his portfolio and stuff. he's relatively young, 25, which was cool. he wasn't as cute as i thought he was going to be, not scary ugly or anything, he was still cute. i met some of his friends who were kinda hanging around the house, and they seemed pretty cool. it turns out that this guy threw a party we went to awhile back at the masterdome. i remember going to it, but i doubt i would remember seeing him there if i did. i don't know where this would go, if it would go anywhere, but i had fun.
i got a little distracted from my list of things to do today, but i'm sure i'll be fine. so tomorrow is the last day of this shitty year. thank the gods. i hope that next year will be extremely better. and can kind of feel it already getting better. or maybe it's just that i expect it to get better anyway, so my attitude changes and becomes more positive so i don't notice the bad things and it appears to be getting better. but in reality, there's an equal balance of good and bad things occurring, and my pessimism gets the better of me which causes me to see my life as something worse than what it really is. but either way, it does feel like things are finally changing for the better. i'm still worried about a few bills starting up next month and every month after, but again i'm sure i'll be fine. i think once i settle in to my paychecks, which are finally going to start being consistent without any holiday interruption, and if there are holidays, i will get paid for them. and i'll be able to figure out what my budget finally with this job. it's weird, i got use to spending so little because of working at the library (the coffeehouse), and now that i make twice as much, i'm still coming up short. i guess if you make more, you spend more. but still, there were a little bit more paycuts because of the holidays and i did pay off a large sum with the bank and my cell phone bills, which was an issue i didn't take care of in long beach. again, oh well. i'm sure i'll be fine. that seems to be my motto for this past year, "i'm sure i'll be fine." i hope that changes.
until then.
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