guestbook revelations
| <<-- : 03.14.03 : -->> |
12:03 p.m.so i find that sometimes i'll invest a lot of myself in my guestbook entries. i think it's great how other people's writing will inspire you to reveal something about yourself. some of these response are entry-worthy in my own diary and i've been meaning to write about them. i thought it was be a good idea to post them here. i think each entry reveals a little bit about myself and where i come from. some of it i've talked about before and some of it i've never mentioned. i think it's a good read.
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entry 55
name: anthony
email: [email protected]
url: http://prophecyboy.diaryland.com
message:
i'm the same way...people use to always comment on how quiet i am. "anthony, why are you so quiet all the time?" -- my reply, "cuz i have nothing to say!" and i never really thought of it like i was being left out of the conversation. i just hung out with people who like to click a lot on stuff i have no involvment in, and they would continue to go on a tangent. and i'm left with standing there nodding and smiling and laughing with their laughing, not really know why i'm laughing. people are rude sometimes. i never thought of it as being good manners, but now i can see how that applies.
date: 2:30 pm - Friday,March 14, 2003
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anthony@www
i love this template! but you shouldn't have to worry about content. it sucks, cuz i know we all do it. we all want to be read by millions and have a great following. but i think if you just be yourself, it will follow. sometimes we go through slow days and have nothing to say. so don't try and force anything. i really need to follow my own advice. i think once i found out that people are actually reading ::pause for cute guy entering the office -- cute guy leaving now:: okay...yeah, so once i found that out, i started to want to write more to keep a following and i think i lost a little bit of my own personal style that i had when i thought no one was reading. so don't beat yourself up over not being exciting! cuz you are! you just have to be you! okay....going now. i like the template a lot. i want a new one. and yes, i see the correlation between new templates and changing appearance. sometimes it helps. it's like rearranging your room to feel like you've moved somewhere new. it's necessary sometimes! =P
2:23 pm - Friday,March 14, 2003
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oh i know too well about those mornings! first of all, i'm not a morning person, but it gets worse when the day starts off with something wrong in the air. it usually evens out by the evening where i'll have a good night. or if it doesn't, it'll be a good day the next day. good luck with your rehearsals and good luck with that job! i hope you get it!
from anthony
[email] [homepage]
6:11 pm - Wednesday,March 12, 2003
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wow, i can't believe how similar your #1 is to my m. i was thinking that and then completely surprised by the little paragraph about my diary. you're sweet, yours is definitely one of my top most favourite diaries. but i'm in the same boat as you. i'd jump at the chance to be in a relationship with him, still. but i think i'll never really get over that feeling, i guess i'll just get use to it. i won't suppress it. i acknowledge my feelings for him, but i'm learning to numb it down a bit. look over them. somehow it will work out. >:P
from anthony
[email] [homepage]
7:11 pm - Tuesday,March 4, 2003
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entry 56
name: prophecyboy
email: [email protected]
url: http://prophecyboy.diaryland.com
message:
how cute, i don't know if i could ever walk around in public holding hands. i'm not too big on PDA's, with guys or girls. but that's pretty brave of you, and that's really cool. i'm sure if i was happy as you are with someone, i'd probably end up holding hands, too. okay, congrats on the new boy!
date: 6:58 pm - Saturday,January 18, 2003
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all i can say is: in due time. i find myself fluctuating back and forth between "real" people and "text" people. since i've been back home, i've hardly been able to go out. one of the reasons i moved back in with my mom was that i couldn't afford to go out. so most of the people i talk to lately are online. but nevertheless, i still have my friends and we occasionally hang out. but don't ever wish that your heart be broken! i know i shouldn't be one to talk, cuz i've craved that passion and heartache before. it can get really scary and damaging. i like to think that it's just not our time yet. but it's emminent. it will come. there's no way for you to know and appreciate real love without the heartache compared to someone who has it and has never been hurt before. so the pain you may be feeling now, the longing, the loneliness, that may be all you need, but it may not. just know that it will come in due time, and you shouldn't try and bring it on yourself. and it's okay to wish for other people! (thank you for your note by the way, that's very sweet of you...i will be getting my guitar back on friday, so learn to play yours! a dusty guitar is sacreligious to me!! haha) but wish for yourself as well! take it one day at a time. you're a very intelligent girl. you have a beautiful way with words. i'd love to hear it in song! i'll definitely give you my number, once i can afford to get my cell phone back on! haha. which is soon! hang in there!
from prophecyboy
{email} {homepage}
1:42 pm - Monday,February 10, 2003
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i use to leave up near seattle when i was smaller, and we would have to drive through mountains of windy paved roads and little branches of dirt roads leading into those houses. i use to wonder things like that all the time. even recently when i went back to visit, i sat in the backseat staring at all the lives that could've been. even mine. if i had never moved.
from prophecyboy
{email} {homepage}
7:31 pm - Saturday,February 8, 2003
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from prophecyboy :
i use to date a former drag queen. he was kinda hot and really good in bed. we were good friends, too. i had fun hanging out with him. but, he showed me some old tapes of his shows. and i felt exactly how you felt when seeing those masquerade mask "panties." (which, btw, i don't care much for that word either, hehe) but, i don't think it has to do with how gay you are. i just think it has to do with what you find attractive. for me anyway, i grew up being attracted to straight men. i didn't have a lot of gay men around to set that example for me, and i never really had the urge to be any more like my female environment. i just wanted to be a guy with a guy who's very much like a guy. and the thought of a guy in a woman's guise is just not very sexy to me. i have nothing against it, in fact my cousin's a drag queen on a regular basis. and i think he/she is great for it. i just don't find it very attractive. blah blah blah. ramble ramble. hehe. sorry i must go to bed now. thanks for signing my guestbook and leaving a note! the bong was not my idea! and she was very careful.
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entry 47
name: prophecyboy
email:
url:
message:
i can't believe that happened. i'm always afraid something like that would happen. i guess i've been lucky. but hormones are crazy, you don't think of anything else when you know you just want to get off. it's a little disorienting. it scares me sometimes with what i'll do for sex. and i don't wanna end up one of those old creepy men that we're all afraid of. i just don't.
date: 3:54 pm - Wednesday,January 29, 2003
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entry 12
name: prophecyboy
email:
url:
message:
a similar thing happened to me and this guy that i was in love with. that guy was taking so long to tell me how he felt about me, so i went out with this other guy. one thing led to another and we hooked up. the next day, he told me that he wanted to be with me despite everything, but i hooked up with that other guy. i felt so guilty and i made the wrong choice. i never got with the guy i was in love with. i know that i couldn't go back and change those two days... but maybe you can do something about it this time around. i don't know if that helps any.
date: 10:41 pm - Monday,February 3, 2003
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entry 8
name: prophecyboy
email: [email protected]
url: http://prophecyboy.diaryland.com
message:
i've stumbled across your diary out of boredom here at work. i've been doing that a lot lately. i've only read one entry, but i wanna read more. i've been through what you're going through with benji. my first boyfriend, real boyfriend, as in moving in toghether, great first love boyfriend, was like that. he had the whole, "am i gay?" thing. we went through the cooling off period. but in the end, we realized we loved each other so much, that it was meant to be a relationship. although it didn't work out for us in the end, i'm sure your story will have a different ending. it's hard sometimes when you know that you enjoy someone so much, but they're not on the same level as you are. and you are forced to wait.
date: 7:00 pm - Monday,January 13, 2003
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in retrospect, a lot of them are all long-winded and probably doesn't make much sense. but i think those tiny boxes are intimidating and they make me feel like i need to rush my response as if they were timed! weird. yes. i know.
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