joe somebody
| <<-- : 04.16.03 : -->> |
8:10 a.m.so there's this guy i liked awhile back. we'll call him joe. we started to hit it off a little, but i pulled back because i wasn't over m. i let m effect everyone i came across. but that's not the point. i've been calling this guy every now and then, just to pop in and catch up. i still like him. he was really cool. i just wish i never pulled back (blah blah blah, regret, blah blah blah). but i can't change that. so i want to move forward. and if i were to get a second chance with him, i'd be thrilled.
well, joe called me back a couple weeks ago, and we talked a little. it turns out that bad timing has attacked us again. when we first met, i thought it was just me pulling away. but apparently, he thought it was him. he didn't know that i was going through something with someone else, because he thought it was just him not over this other guy in his life. i can't believe that we didn't even talk about that. that must mean something right? that we would like each other, but not really know each other that well to see that we were hurt? i knew he was going through stuff. his sister had a baby who died in crib death. he would've been his first nephew, and he was pretty sad about that. but we never really got to talking about past relationships. does it mean that we didn't really click like i felt we did?
so anyway, this time around, he was just sort-of-evicted (they tried to raise his rent for stupid reasons) from his apartment and in the process of finding a new one and moving and all that. he seemed pretty preoccupied again. i told him about the duncan sheik concert and he said he would've loved to go. but, that he'll call me sometime that weekend (last weekend). he never called. i assumed that he wasn't interested in hanging out again or that he was just busy with everything that's going on. i said my peace, we talked about my regrets about us, and it was great closure for me. so him not calling back was fine and didn't bother me at all.
so he calls me last night. completely unexpected. he apologizes for not calling about the duncan sheik concert (which is fine, cuz he didn't miss much). but he found a new place and is all settled. that's really cool, i'm really happy for him. but it was pretty late last night when he called, and i was kind of out of it. i had the opportunity to talk to him some more, but i kind of blew it. he said he was still interested in hanging out again, but i just told him to call me when he'd want to. damn. i should've picked a night or something, but i couldn't think. i was preoccupied. i didn't know what i had for this weekend, and i thought of how he works during the weekend, but i didn't remember if he said he still worked at the same place (cuz he said he got a new job, but i remember him saying it didn't start until may) so if that was the case, then he wouldn't have been able to hang out, only on mondays and tuesdays, so what am i doing on those days, but i haven't thought to far ahead, i'd need to check out my calendar, but my computer's not on. fuck. so i just told him to call me whenever. i hope that didn't come off as me not wanting to hang out. i had too much thoughts and i was kind of tired and sleepy.
but i like him so much. and i didn't think he would ever call me again. and he did. and the timing's a little weird with what happened the other night with that guy. which i still feel guilty about.
ugh. i need to go repent or some shit. or call joe. i don't know. something.
oh yeah, i'm at work. yeah, i'll work. that's what i'll do!
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