a quest for meaningful sexual experiences
| <<-- : 02.28.03 : -->> |
3:48 p.m.okay, so after this whole ordeal with ...the uh... 13th letter of the alphabet... i've decided that the next time i have sex, it's going to mean something. i don't want to cheapen what happened with ...the 13th letter of the alphabet. it meant a lot to me, and it kind of woke me up. just prior, i've been going crazy with the hook ups. all i could think about is sex. lots of it. i needed to get off. so i got off. and then that happened.
it seemed how much i had forgotten how fucking insanely good sex feels when it's with someone you deeply care for. and random sex with random people will never feel that way.
so i've decided, not a vow of celibacy, just a vow to make it worth something. i'm going to see how far i go, and how much worth this little experience will be. what can i learn from myself from this?
the rules are fairly simple. there's really only one rule. and it just has to mean more than a hook up. it can't be "simply sex." it doesn't have to mean a relationship or any kind of commitment. it just has to be somewhat special, to me or to him, preferrably both. company needs to be enjoyed. there has to be something about the person that i like. something about the person needs to connect somehow with me deep down inside me, before he can get.."inside"...me.
i'm excited. this is going to be interesting.
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