melancholy leads to wanting more
| <<-- : 02.06.03 : -->> |
12:58 p.m.melancholy is a funny thing. coldplay seems to induce this feeling every time i hear them on the radio. it's not the melancholy of depression, it's more like this sense of relaxation where in the 3.5 minutes or so, i evaluate my life. i think about things, sad things, and then i have this sense of hope that washes over me. i feel like it's possible to do something with my life and i'm able to fix things.
right now i'm feeling:
-things have sucked, i have made mistakes, yet i'm okay with it.
-i want to travel. i want to live in another city, one that i haven't lived in before
-i want to go to school and finish and get involved in a career i want.
-i haven't had the best year in love, but i know that when the time is right, it will come around. i'm not worried.
-i want to go out. i want to do things that i have been wanting to do for a long time. such as, go to the silent movie theater in LA, or go on a nice romantic date with all the trimmings.
-i want to see more concerts and shows, plays and musicals.
-i want to get a really good massage, a non-sexual massage, something to help get these knots out of my neck and shoulders, so that i can start all over again and make new ones.
-yoga
-buy clothes
-buy new music
-get a new phone
-finish all my work on my desk
-read all the books in my bookshelf that i haven't read
-start my own webdesign company and call it prophecy productions
-meet new and fascinating people
-work out and tone up my body to where i can take off my shirt in public and not care
-live in an apartment furnished with a little more personality than ikea
-live in an apartment, on my own (roomates okay)
-love my kitty better
-afford to pay all my bills on time every month
-clean up my credit, or at least be on a plan
-record my demo CD
-start performing again in coffeeshops
-learn to play the electric guitar
-buy an electric guitar
-buy an amp for an electric guitar
-start or join a band
-make a compilation CD of all the songs that encompass who i am and the last 22 years of my life, and then give them to all my friends and future friends who want to get to know me
-get a CD burner
-buy back all the CD's i've sold that i wish i didn't
-throw a really good party
-make out with m at least one more time
-get another piercing
-get a tattoo, maybe two
-have lots of sex
-live in new york, san francisco, seattle, and/or london
-get in my car and just drive
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