shoot me now! right between the eyes!
| <<-- : 01.13.03 : -->> |
10:04 a.m.my head is about to explode. i hate living at home. i hate living with my brother. i hate the fact that i have lost an enormous amount of personal space and privacy. i hate the fact that if i'm the last one to shower, i virtually have no hot water. and if i'm the first one, i get scolded by my hotheaded, inconsiderate, irational, pissant older brother for taking too long. which, in fact, i wasn't. which, in fact, is none of his business. and why he didn't use the other shower is beyond me.
i was fine this morning. i had a great weekend. i had gotten up relatively early this morning, ground some coffee and started the brewer. i was great, i was going to start my morning off fine. then this egotistical selfish bitch of a man opens the bathroom door and yells at me telling me i'm taking too long. that he's going to be late for work. and then he takes up the other bathroom where i get ready and takes a crap to piss me off. so i can't get in there and get ready. so i had to rush my hair, grab my shit, and leave. then he yells some more, telling me i owe him $40 for the cable bill... knowing full well that it's just another reason to shout out the front door while i'm getting in my car.
i need to move out. i need to leave. i can't stand this anymore. i really am losing my mind. i don't care if i live in a shithole of an apartment, or if i lose my car because i won't be able to afford it. i should have never left long beach. i should have toughed it out a couple more months. i would have gotten this job soon, and i would've been fine. i would have been able to get a car a little later, but probably more sensible and more affordable, which would have been fine. i'm leaving soon. i am. i've decided. i'm going apartment hunting. i'm going to pull all my resources to get out. i can't stand living there anymore. i love my mom, i love my brother, i just can't stand living with them. i'm too different. i'm not a little kid anymore. it may be fine for my bum of an older brother, who probably enjoys spending money on clothes, snowboarding, and other things. but not me. i need to go back to blowing all my money on bills and rent. it was more fulfilling for me.
i need to write my weekend recap later when i've calmed down. right now, i hate the world and everything in it. so when i don't. i'll talk about my kick ass weekend.
until then.
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