sins of the father
| <<-- : 08.22.03 : -->> |

8:57 a.m.

i have this quote on my email signature. so it goes out to everyone i write an email to.

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Everything is as it is. It has no name other than the name we give it. It is we who call it something; we give it a value. We say this thing is good or it's bad, but in itself, the thing is only as it is. It's not absolute; it's just as it is. People are just as they are.

-Ajahn Sumedho, "The Mind and the Way"

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i really like this, because i find truth in it. things are just what they are. yeah, they can be good or bad, but that's only because we label it that way. we live our life labeling things based on what we were told, learned, or have seen for ourselves. i've been trying to live my life by it. do not judge. do not comdemn people based on who they are. the last line, People are just as they are, especially got to me. all this anger and hatred that i've had this past week seems a little childish and immature when i've realized, that my dad is just as he is.

sure, what he does upsets me. how he's been to me and my family upsets me. but he, himself, can't upset me. i don't hate him. i may pity him a little. but i don't hate him. he's only being himself. he's only being what he is. his actions piss me off, but it's not like they aren't going unjustified. bad things keep happening to him, and they just might continue that way until he realizes why. until he realizes that he may need to respect other people in his life.

even if that's not the case. it's not my problem anymore. he is just who he is. and i will not condemn him to anything, in my mind or in this world. in order for me to find peace, i need to accept that. i need to forgive him. and hopefully, the people that matter most in this situation will find that, too. and soon, he may see and forgive himself.

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