vegas, an abbreviated recall of events
| <<-- : 03.10.03 : -->> |
12:50 p.m.so i finally have food in my stomach. and thanks to asha, my jaw hurts a lot less now. she gave me her last two excedrin pills and it helped a lot. so a BIG THANKS goes to her. i felt really bad for taking them, but i've been an unhappy person and hoped that it will help. and it did.
so to recap my weekend, i'll start with our drive on friday. it actually wasn't bad at all. but, i was sitting on my wallet for most of the drive and it threw off my back alignment, causing a major pain in my lower back. once i took it out, i was fine. i've never really driven that far before, i've been a passenger many times, but never behind the wheel. so it was an interesting and necessary experience for me. but i think that if i could handle this weekend's drive, i could handle frisco. (which, by the way, is delayed about a month)
for some reason, i've been a little sensitive to my friends lately. i don't know why, but i'm beginning to get annoyed very easily and i don't like it. i love my friends very much and i don't want any negative feelings towards them. but, i guess it's expected when you basically know them inside and out and are pretty much family. with family, it's okay to get annoyed and frustrated, because no matter what, you're blood. that's never going to change. it's how i feel about my closest friends. it's not going to change. regardless if we were to ever lose touch or develop negativity towards each other. i think we've grown passed that and will always remain a part of each other's lives. and i believe this. we've gone months without seeing each other and even years with a couple people, but we're still able to be there for one another if we need to be.
with that being said, missa kind of got on my nerves. when we picked her up, she was on a pill. and it just kind of sucks when she's rollin and we're not. i mean, it's not that i wanted to roll that night, but it would've been nice if she asked us. or at least asked if it was okay for her to be drugged up when we head out to my aunt's house. it's kind of disrespectful. i didn't want to bring that into their house. and then what does she whip out once we get in the car? a big bong. so here she is, takin huge bong rips the whole drive there and back, and i keep crackin the window, cuz i don't want to get a contact high. i'm very sensitive to weed and if i'm not on a pill, i don't really like the smell of it. (on pills, i love the shit) and she's rollin, so i'm not gonna tell her otherwise. she'll feel bad. and i don't want her to feel bad. so, after her come-down, she was tweekin hard. and all this nervous energy rushed into the car. she couldn't sit still. it seemed like every other song, she wanted to change the CD. and every time she put something on, she kept asking if it was okay and that if we liked that music. i mean, what the fuck? how many times is she going to ask if i liked reggae or if i liked hip hop or if i liked lou reed. if it was okay that we play it. i mean, fuck. it's missa! she knows that i like that shit. it just bothered me that she wasn't all there. that she just had to be fucked up. i wanted to hang out this weekend with my friend, but i wasn't sure who she was half of the time.
it scares me and i don't know how to bring it up to her. cuz, we all do it. we all get fucked up. but when we're together, it'll be a group thing. although, she did offer weed every five minutes. but she knows i can't smoke weed and drive at the same time. or at all if i'm not on a pill. but, yet she kept asking. i don't know why rosie didn't smoke too much, mostly i knew it was because she didn't want to get sleepy. but, the more missa smoked, the more she got high, and the less like herself she got.
and i think that was the point.
i love missa, and we share a lot of the same insecurities about ourselves and we both pine for love and acceptance. i just don't like what i see it's doing to her. and if i knew how to help, i could help myself, too. i want to be there for her whenever she needs, but i'm struggling to be there for me, too. and why am i rationalizing? what am i doing? i'm rationalizing why i'm not there for her. do i feel that way? i think i do. i think i'm sensing a little guilt. did i give up? no. see, i can't do that. i need to not do that. so i won't. i don't know why i started into that. as if i would give up on one of my closest friends like that. she's aware of everything and i know she'll come through. i'll have to talk to her later. i don't know how, but i'll figure it out. i'm scared now. we'll just get back to this weekend.
so other than that, we had fun. i love both missa and rosie and it was fun. we started off at ceasar's palace in the morning. we had a couple drinks at this cool bar. it was kinda posh and they were playing house music. it was pretty cool. we went out to meet with the wedding coordinator, but there was a wedding going on in the garden, where we're having the wedding. so we just walked around to buy some time. it turns out that she wasn't going to have time to show us. so we went out to hard rock casino. there, we had lunch and after i discovered the wonderful world of roulette. i was doing really good up until i started doing really bad. i started out with my last $20 and i kept playing for a good two hours. i think at one point i tripled my money, but i was so drunk, i kept playing and playing till i was down to $4 and then nothing. but, nevertheless it was fun. and who can turn down the waitress and her neverending supply of coronas? so we leave and head out across the street, cuz i wanted to check out the hamburger mary's there.
afterwards, we head out to the rio and eat there. me and missa are pretty broke from the roulette table, so rosie pays for us. but we're all a little tired from drinking early on in the day that we don't even eat a lot. which kind of sucks cuz the food looked really good. when in vegas, it's tradition to hit up the buffets. it's always fifty/fifty out there. and rosie's the expert on where to eat.
i had spent all my money on slots and the roulette table, so i was pretty broke. i was trying to budget my money for the rest of the night. but every random slot machine i passed, i'd try and play. you never know, i could've hit the jackpot. i was trying to be random, because that's basically how gambling works. it's just a random chance that will win. i'd win $5 here and $20 there. it was cool. i got really excited when i won $20 in quarters. i was a little drunk, so i thought it was a lot more than it really was. i was like "whoa! i won 80 quarters! look, missa! look!" so i kept walking around with pockets full of quarters playing on random machines. it was fun. but, i think i have a gambling problem. it kinda runs in the family. my mom and my aunts all have it. i think some of my cousins, too. we all like to gamble. and it got really fun when later on the night, the three of us surpassed our tired and achy crankiness and got to giggliness. that's the best. when we'll just laugh at anything. i swear, this commercial of rita rudner kept playing everywhere we went in new york new york, for a show of hers. and i'd always catch it when she would say, "yes, i'm really doing the splits, and yes. it hurts." if you're ever in vegas, you'll know what i mean. i think at one point i almost threw my beer at her. or did i just imagine that. regardless, it was a good time.
my highlight of the weekend was definitely the next morning when we went back to ceasar's palace to check out the gardens. i think i was pretty hungover and didn't get a lot of sleep cuz we needed an early day to get things done. you know, the whole reason why we were down there. (which was to check out the gardens and bring back pictures) i went back to that bar and grabbed a bloody mary. i never really had one before, but heard it was great for hangovers. and it was. it was pretty good until it started to get a little watered down. but i felt like a true alchie walking around the hotel early in the morning with a drink in my hand.
the drive home wasn't bad. we had some coffee and for most of the trip, the giggles returned. i was satisfied with the trip. i wish i had more money and more time, time=money. but for what it was, it was great. this was merely a recon mission to check things out. the real partying will come in june. and THAT will be better planned and i will definitely have money to lose, uh i mean, use... to win...more money. and i definitely want to check out the clubs out there. we were dressed far from the "fashionable attire" as they require for us to be. so we decided against that.
but i was glad to be home. but, i think i'm in a worse place financially. and, i don't think i have the energy or the want to work tonight at mary's. i think i'm just going to call and quit. i don't think i can go back and do dishes all night. i'm going to have to find another, less vigorous job. either that, or just save every penny. i'm going to leave my ATM card at home all month. i cannot lose my car. i cannot lose my insurance. i just hope there's still time to save it. and plus, i need more free time on my hands so i can go back to the gym. i'm determined to lose weight before june and tone up. i want to be able to feel comfortable about my body when i hit up vegas again. there were so many hot guys there and a certain somebody that i have yet to meet in person. so, i have to look my best.
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