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6:32 a.m. - 12.05.05 it seems lately that life doesn't seem to be fulfilled if we lack the necessary drama in our lives to feel like we're going somewhere. for some, it's the drama in their relationships. for others, drama is simply trying to stay alive and feed yourself, pay the bills, keep a roof over your head and a shirt on your back. for those who seem to have it all: clothes, a home, a healthy relationship, a circle of friends, we create a sense of insecurity in all these things and look for drama where none may exist. sometimes we have to create it to feel that those things are there. it's a common thing to know that until it's gone, you don't know really know what you have. so we create this false sense of it fleeting, in order to feel secure that you have it. whatever it may be. is it really necessary? is it really a bad thing? isn't the drama of our lives are what plays, songs, movies, and art is born out of? without it, are we really living a rich, cultured existence? is it possible to live that way? i've often felt that i wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone where everything was perfect. perfectly happy, perfectly sane, perfectly argument-free. it's often a sign of a healthy relationship to have arguments. so what if you're in a relationship where you don't ever argue? does that necessarily mean you aren't happy? does that necessarily mean that you aren't in a healthy relationship? or are you just one of those people that can live drama-free. i've heard about people like that, i've often come across people who claim to live drama-free, but they turn out to not be. there's always some sort of drama in their lives, big or small. i'm beginning to think that those types of people are a myth. drama eventually shows up in some form or another. it invades our lives. it's a part of life. it's what stories are made out of. imagine being 100% pure drama free. how boring that would be! of course, that's just my opinion. although, i do believe that there are those who create intense drama in their lives and the lives of those around them. those people are often referred to as drama-queens. i believe it's a step further in the drama we create in our everyday lives. a step above creating drama merely out of insecurity. perhaps it's insecurity intensified. a need to create drama so intense and so complicated that it provides a false sense of self-worth. how much drama is too much drama? what separates us from the drama-queens? what separates us drama-queens from merely drama-filled lives? i guess the way the game works is to strive to be drama-free, but fully aware that drama is the way of life. it exists and it will pop in every now and then. the trick is to do what you can to not add coal to the fire. to put out the fire as much as you can and when you can, but to realize that the fire is there and will go and come back when it pleases. true drama, naturally created drama, the drama of everyday life, comes and goes as it pleases. shit happens. the only thing you can do, is to just keep cleaning it up. it's what life is all about. this constant game of cleaning up drama only to be confronted with it again. over and over again. if you live a drama-free life and you're in a place where you feel like nothing is happening, just wait. drama will come up eventually. you don't need to do anything to make it happen. because it happens. eventually.
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