blinded
| <<-- : 06.21.03 : -->> |
8:06 p.m.where was i before him?
how did i get through my day without thinking of him?
why do i feel lost and constantly waiting and looking forward to his call?
this isn't right. it feels good to have this crush. but it just seems like everything i do is waiting for him.
so here i go again, through this, again. you'd think i'd have learned by now. that i'd be a better person, ready for this kind of thing. but it seems like i'm not applying myself, and i'm reverting back to the old ways. obsessing. i can't obsess. i'm happy for what it is and i hope it will be more. but i'm going to continue on as if this isn't a big deal. i'm going to do things as i have always done. this doesn't change anything. but it does. and if this goes down, then i feel i will be fundamentally a happier person. or will i?
all i can think about are his sandpaper kisses of wine.
damn.
here i go again.
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