june gloom
| <<-- : 06.13.03 : -->> |
8:59 a.m.i was having a fairly shitty morning. my mom had borrowed the last of my money left over from vegas to pay the electric bill. she was suppose to pay me back on wednesday, but i had found out this morning that she won't be able to pay me back at all this week. and i have that date tonight. so i pretty much don't know what to do about that. one of my friends owes me money from vegas that i was suppose to pick up on monday, so hopefully i'll be able to get that before i go out tonight. but i'm not down to pressure friends. if they don't have it, i'll just be out of luck tonight. and i'll have to cancel. no big. i'm feeling a little sick anyway. it wouldn't be good to go on a date when you're catching a cold. if all goes well, i wouldn't want him getting sick.
but as i get to work, one of the girls here at the office offers me the rest of her french toast. apparently, she had ordered it and changed her mind, realizing that she had something else here. i don't know. whatever the reason, i didn't care. it was food. i was hungry and feeling shit. you can't beat free food. after the first bite, i was feeling ten times better.
i realized that the power that food can have over your moods. and like peter parker's wise uncle ben once said,
"with great power, comes great responsibity," you must not abuse the power of food. it can consume you. but used wisely, you can have more control over your moods and feelings. blah. where did all this rambling come from?
i don't know if i should do anything today. i feel like crap. i really want to move. now. to my own place. i can't stand living at home. i can't stand my mom and my brother. i love them to death, but i just can't live with them. i got the lecture last night about not paying the cable bill from my brother. he likes to lecture. but i know bullshit when i hear it. i've done model united nations in high school for three years. we perfected bullshit. and all of a sudden, my brother tries to pull the same crap on me. he's trying to be "real" with me. trying to lay down the "facts." but really, he just found a new way to attack my character and put me down.
fuck this. i'm tired of feeling like this. i talk a lot of shit, but i don't do anything about it. so enough talking shit. i'm just going to do.
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