ashes ashes
| <<-- : 10.27.03 : -->> |
8:49 a.m.i thought maybe i was going to the desert this weekend. i had messaged mikey about it, but no response. so i just assumed he was really busy and that they might not even go. i figured that if it was feasable that he would call me before leaving.
so i just stayed home. i watched a lot of t.v. A LOT. i vegged. i did the no shower thing all weekend. i laid in bed like a bum. i watched the entire first season of buffy on dvd. commentaries and all. very fascinating.
davemarr sent me some high quality sean cody porn. i enjoyed that immensely this weekend. a little too much, if you ask me. it was very much appreciated.
i've discovered that my cheap DVD player plays mpeg's burnt onto CD-R's. i'm pretty excited about that. now, i can make all my little videos and play them on my DVD player!
i've also cleaned up the laptop. everything's ready to burn onto discs and ready to take up to SF. it seems i'll be able to take everything from the laptop onto 4 or 5 discs. and all i'll need is my DVD player and a TV to view them or listen to my mp3's in case i won't have a PC in SF.
i was a little lonely this weekend. surprisingly, it didn't bother me that much. i tried calling aisha to see if she wanted to watch a movie, but she wasn't up for it all weekend. i didn't really know who else to call. everyone was either working or in vegas. i could've made a little more effort to hang out with someone. but i really drew a blank. it was kind of nice to veg out at home. i ate candy til i felt sick. there was ash everywhere. the fires in riverside caused the sun to go orange and it was strangely hot outside. it seemed a little apocolyptic, and i just wanted to stay in bed.
i'm so confused about everything in my life right now. everything seems to be at a standstill. change is coming. i know that. i guess all i have to do now is just wait. i was hoping that i would get to hang out with people before i leave. kind of party a little with my friends here. but i think it just seems like everyone feels like i've already gone. they just don't seem to be around anymore. but of course, this is just how i percieve things. i still have a month left. i'll get to say my goodbyes when the time is right. and even if i don't, i'll be back around down here on occasion. so it's not really goodbye. it just seems like they've said it already.
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