drummer boy
| <<-- : 12.31.02 : -->> |
9:52 a.m.i find myself thinking about drummer boy a lot lately. i think it has to do with me getting emails from his band and when they're playing next. i really liked him and hanging out with him and his friends. but somewhere down the line earlier this year, we lost touch. we would see each other on and off again through the course of six months or so. but it was kind of like once or maybe even twice a month. but i guess he had a boyfriend who was moving in with him in may, i think it was. and that was when i started to stop calling him so much. of course.
but this guy was someone he had never met outside of the internet. i know with all this talk about online hook-ups and all, he was really into this guy, and he was moving in with him already. it was just a matter of time. so from the beginning, i knew that nothing could come of this. but i think drummer boy liked me back, but because he was "taken" he held back a lot. and eventually, when s arrived, we didn't talk for awhile.
i still would go see his band, cuz i think we're still friends. we just don't talk as much. but i feel like the longer each time i wait to call or to go see them play, it seems like so much has changed, and i'm being left out of it, my choice of course.
but he was really sweet, and really sexy. we met on valentine's day at this club in hollywood. i saw him dancing so i just went up to him and started dancing with him. we got really close to each other and started making out. it was fun. he's a really great kisser. but, anyway, he told me about his band and that they were looking for a bass player. although i would love to join a band, i don't know how to play bass. he told me he would teach me and it would be fun. he gave me his number and i called him the next day. it was really cool cuz we would talk on the phone and flirt. which i don't usually do, or i don't really know how to do. but i would go see his band play in l.a. and hang out with him afterwards. or he would call me to let me know he would be going to that club and find out if i was going.
i thought it was really sweet. but all in all, i got mixed signals from him. i wasn't sure if he wanted to pursue anything with me at all or were we just friends that make out every now and then. but in my mind, i knew s was on his way, and our friendship would dissapate. it was kind of depressing and i didn't know how much i should let myself be into this guy.
so anyway, my point is, i still think about him a lot. and i wonder if it's possible to ressurect any of the passion we had for each other, or should i just let it go and let us be just friends. i don't even know if drummer boy and s are really together like that. i hung out with them once, and they didn't seem to affectionate. but maybe he was sparing my feelings or they're just not open about it. i don't know, but they're playing tonight at a house party for new year's. and i don't know if i should go. i kinda really want to, but i don't think he's expecting me, and that would be really weird to just show up.
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