on public speaking
| <<-- : 02.03.04 : -->> |
9:10 p.m.today i spoke in front of a group of people for the first time in a very long time. i had a class presentation to make. it wasn't a big one. in fact, it was just a small chapter presentation. no one had signed up yet, so i went first. i thought it would be kinda cool to get over with right of the bat and i wouldn't have to follow anyone else's presentation. it's kind of like i got to set the tone for the rest of the class. the instructions were pretty vague and we have a lot of freedom with how we could present.
so i did the one-page outline as required, and i decided to just present selected information from the chapter and then follow up with my thoughts and how it relates to our midterm essay questions. it was pretty easy. in fact, i had all my information in front of me.
i started off fine. i felt comfortable. i knew what i was going to say. it wasn't as bad as i thought it would be. so i decided to take a leap and stray from dictating my outline word for word. so i engaged in a talk with my classmates. it wasn't a discussion, but i just wanted to tell them my thoughts and what i found interesting. i noticed my hands started to shake. and by the middle of presentation, the paper in my hands began to shake vigorously. the more i noticed my hands, the more i began to stutter. so i stopped talking and pause, which is what you're suppose to do when you stutter. then i started to lose my train of thought. but i quickly jumped back on track and i finished in no time. i didn't get to say all i wanted to say because my anxiety took the better of me. but the class applauded and it was kinda cool. people seemed to be interested in what i had to say and afterwards, this guy told me that i did a great job.
i had forgotten how nervous i get when i speak in front of a crowd. i've managed to handle it in high school, but the anxiety has always been the same. it's this rush of adrenaline and it's pretty powerful. i get extremely nervous, but i always keep at it. it's almost like my own personal way of being a daredevil. some people skydive, i do public speaking and lead groups. for me, the results are pretty rewarding.
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