sex therapy
| <<-- : 10.23.03 : -->> |
2:04 p.m.i get to see k tonight. i'm pretty excited. not only do we get along great, we have great sex. we're both really into each other, so we both just let go. i don't think i have any inhibitions around him. one of the reasons why we have an amazing time is that i feel really comfortable around him. he has a very nice body and very nice reasonably sized penis. when the two of us go at it, we can just go at it and take turns pleasing each other.
i used to see him a lot. but we've gone months in between without. he and his boyfriend had an open relationship, so fooling around with k wasn't something unheard of for me. i think they knew when i came over what would end up happening. it was kind of a therapy for me. i enjoyed it a lot. and i would've loved to have a relationship with k, but the fact that he was in a relationship already kept me from getting close. we're good friends, don't get me wrong. but i had reached several points where i wanted more. it just didn't seem possible.
it seems like i go crazy the longer i go without sex. i need that release. i've gone through periods of abstinence, in hopes of finding other ways of release. and i've pretty much come up fruitless. sure, i've come to light on certain things about myself. i've been able to work on friendships and develop ways to cope and not need it so much. but i've realized that it's good to have a somewhat regular sex life.
up until last week, i was pretty much losing my mind. i was pretty emotional. i let a lot of things get to me. jerking off every night just wasn't cutting it. and then i hung out with a very hot certain somebody. we spent most of the night and morning and day in bed. exploring and kissing. i couldn't keep my hands off him. it was just so amazing that it was as if it woke me up from a subconcious emotional coma. i was able to feel that warmth again. that closeness. the intimacy of being with another.
sex shouldn't be an escape. well. to some extent it will be. like a good t.v. show. or a good movie. just a temporary escape from reality. and like any drug or intoxication, it shouldn't be overdone. anything an excess loses it's power. it's specialness. and i wouldn't want it to get boring. i've gone through that already. i know how that feels. when sex becomes boring, there's a problem. i'm not ready for that yet. i know it may happen to me. but not right now. i'm young. i'm cute. i need to have great sex. and enjoy it.
| <<-- : : -->> | top
cyclists - 04.06.07
reader update - 04.04.07
read me - 03.29.07
easter sunday - 03.26.07
shutdown day - 03.23.07