deja vu
| <<-- : 04.17.03 : -->> |
8:50 a.m.i've just had a serious bout of deja vu right now. i was signing someone's guestbook and i immediately recalled a memory for a long time ago of this very moment. what i was typing and where i was. i remember easter being this upcoming sunday. the color scheme. everything was exact.
it seems that the older i get, the stronger these deja vu's get. i wonder how much they relate to reality. how much do they relate to dreams? i believe in reincarnation. and i believe that chances are you've lived this experience before in another life somehow.
i don't mean to be morbid or anything, but sometimes i would think that the intensity of these deja vu's meant that i was getting closer to the end of my last life. that i might be repeating this cycle. i haven't been the greatest person in this lifetime. and maybe i wasn't in past lives. and i've felt that i'll be on repeat until i've changed something significant about myself. and i feel that i've made the same mistakes over and over.
i don't want to say that i think the end of my life is coming. that i will die soon. but i think i just feel that way. as a reason to feel scared and depressed.
but speaking in terms of logic and reason. i would think that the guilt resulting from choices i've made before is just trying to express itself to me in terms that i can comprehend. in terms of kharma and being universally punished for mistakes i've made. in order to better myself. if thinking this way, spiritually, will be what makes me a better person, then that is how my conscience will interpret these emotions. through deja vu's, dreams, and my outlooks on what's to come.
the good thing is if i want to believe fully in the spiritual basis of these thoughts, then i can. but i can also bring myself back to earth and see the psychology behind it.
i have much to learn.
| <<-- : : -->> | top
cyclists - 04.06.07
reader update - 04.04.07
read me - 03.29.07
easter sunday - 03.26.07
shutdown day - 03.23.07