acting like a fool and the SF trip
| <<-- : 04.22.03 : -->> |
1:32 p.m.not much to say. i don't know why. i just noticed that i didn't write an entry this morning.
today, our regional managers came in today from all over the country for a training meeting. the san jose RM is this cute 21 year old with blue eyes. and for some reason, i got all embarassingly giddy. i've been acting like a fool all day. there's no chance in hell that this guy is gay, but still. it made me realize something.
i realized that i'm tired of being alone. i need to meet someone. i want a boyfriend. or if not a boyfriend, just someone i can share moments with. i'm like a rabid dog every time a cute boy walks in. this isn't right! i can't allow myself to get like this. if i want to find someone, i gotta get out there and go for it. for awhile now, i've been avoiding the scene. the bars, and the hookups. why? what's so wrong about that?
okay, okay. so the meaningless sex got out of hand and it got the better of me. i think i'm better than that now. i can learn from it and grow. i want to meet someone, and if we hook up, then we hook up. so what? and so what if it doesn't mean anything more than that. i can't let that determine who i am. and i can't let that determine my worth.
the boy here today isn't all that great. i mean it was fun to fuss about him and be like a little school girl (nice imagery, right? me? a school girl?)...
-----
thirty minutes later
-----
i forgot i was writing an entry. i got caught up in a discussion with asha and my friend davemarr, about my upcoming SF trip. so far, we've planned it for the weekend of May 10th. more on this later.
| <<-- : : -->> | top
cyclists - 04.06.07
reader update - 04.04.07
read me - 03.29.07
easter sunday - 03.26.07
shutdown day - 03.23.07