waking up in someone else's bed
| <<-- : 04.14.03 : -->> |
3:14 p.m.so i woke up this morning in someone else's bed, and late for work. in fact i'm still wearing yesterday's clothes. i took a shower at his place, but i didn't have enough time to go home to change. ugh. this is gross. i feel gross and i want to go home and sleep.
but i had an eventful weekend. it started out on friday when missa calls me for "a beer." and we all know how that goes. one beer at campus turns into two pitchers, missa running into a guy she fucked (who is fucking hot by the way) and bringing him along as we head out to long beach to bar hop. we head out to fern's and have another drink. the dart board has bush's picture on it, so i spend most of the evening throwing darts. and we head out to the red room, where missa and the guy go to my car to make out, while i have an interesting conversation with some guy about filipino women. it was fun. then our drunk ass kids made our way to the reno room where i had enough, so i didn't drink anymore. i think at one point we made a scene in the library. well, not really a scene. but we hung for a bit. and then we headed home.
the next day was hell on my head, but i head to work anyway. afterwards, we head out to april's birthday dinner. we ate at "off vine" in hollywood. the food was amazing, but the prices were amazingly expensive. but i think it was worth it. you know you had good food when a small portion of it fills you up. and you actually feel full. i had mushroom ravioli in this ginger sauce with bell peppers. my god, was it good. after that we head out to watch pants optional at the joint. i had fun, but missa and tine left to go to a hip hop club on wilshire, but i just stayed with the ate's. i was pretty tired by this point.
and now yesterday, i came in to work to try and finish everything that i didn't get to finish on saturday. i ended up staying for six and a half hours. but i'm still not caught up. and yesterday, i actually did a lot. i guess i'm just fucked. but missa and rosie call and ask if i want to meet up for "a beer" at bj's. so, why not. sure. i ended up leaving work to go straight there. (i actually stopped by barnes and noble and i bought hermann hesse's demian, it looks really good, and i can't wait to start reading it.) one beer turned into two pitchers and three appetizers. simon ended up meeting us there as well. it was cool to hang out with them again. i kinda planned on being avoidy this weekend, but it didn't turn out like that at all. we head out to campus to play pool. i throw more darts. but sadly those dartboards don't have bush's picture on it. i'd be too afraid to do that in orange county anyway. too much white trash floatin around that might wanna "git me for disrespectin our contry." fern's is a relatively safe place for that kind of behavior. after campus, simon and missa bail on me, and i kinda don't feel like goin home. but i didn't bother to ask, cuz i kinda wanted to go out with the intention of hooking up. so i headed out to the silver fox for karaoke night. it was packed. and i actually got up to sing. twice! i ran into a few people i knew there. and it was nice to see them again. talk a little bit. stumble around. at this point, i kinda gave up on hooking up. i didn't really try. i think i just wanted to be around long beach and familiar surroundings. i ran into somebody i had a crush on awhile back, when i use to work at the library. but he had gotten with a friend of mine. so, i never pursued anything with him. it was cool, cuz we hung out for a bit and we talked all night. i was kind of with someone else last august when he and his boyfriend and me and that guy would see each other at parties with their circle of friends. i found out some very interesting things about the guy i was kinda seeing. it turns out that there was a very good chance that he did spike m's drink with G one time. i don't know why, but i didn't believe it. anyway, enough of that. well this guy that i had this crush on is no longer with my friend. and this guy tells me that he's always had this crush on me. i'm drunk and horny, and i agree to go home with him when he asked me. we go to "hang out" but as soon as we get up into his room, he starts to kiss me. it felt really good to actually stay at a guy's place all night and have sex in the morning. sex in the morning is the best. i could have stayed in bed all day long and blew off work (well, that wouldn't be the only thing i'd blow off... hehe. ehem.) but he had to get up for work.
it was great last night. to sleep in someone's arms again. just to be held. it was nice. even though i know it won't last. or it may not be a good idea to get into anything with him. i don't think i want that with him. he just broke up with my friend. and if he were to ever find out that i slept with his ex, he would never forgive me. i know they're very much in love, but they just couldn't make it work. their lives took two different paths. i just don't think i would want a relationship right now with this guy. i don't know what i want anymore. nothing i succeed at getting just isn't satisfying me anymore. it seems all so empty and numb.
i feel so blah. and tired.
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