ugly
| <<-- : 03.14.03 : -->> |
5:03 p.m.i don't understand why i do this to myself. why do i go to these stupid chatrooms full of superficial gay bastards? we talk and they're all interested and they seem cool and they seem to think that i seem cool, the pic on my profile is this and everything's cool. i send them this, and then it's not cool. nothing. they stop talking. they start off with wanting to get to know me, and after the latter, absolute silence. i don't like how it feels. it makes me feel so hideous, deformed, disgusting, infected.
ugly.
inside and out. inside for going there in the first place, and outside for getting the cold response. i hate the way i look. i hate the way i feel. and people wonder why i keep fishing for compliments and why i'm so insecure. it's because of this and i do it to myself. being gay sucks. there's tons more pressure to look like a greek god, on looks and style, and i don't know why i do this to myself. i don't understand why i put myself in this position, knowing full well that i'll get hurt. i don't know how much more of this i can take.
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