the birthday boy
| <<-- : 11.11.03 : -->> |
11:27 a.m.today is jesse's birthday.
i think about him a lot. we had our good and bad times. i'm glad he still calls me. i'm glad i'm still in touch. he just doesn't call too often. it's always random. he never has the same number. he's still somewhere out there, surviving. he's been in and out of jail and in and out of the same bad relationship. i hope everything works out for him. i hope he finds his path.
the last time i talked to him, i told him i had decided to move to san francisco soon. i just didn't know when or how. but i told him that was where i was headed. i wish i had a number of his, i'd totally call him to wish him a happy birthday.
this morning, i had this urge to listen to coldplay. when jesse and i were together, our song was, "yellow." he loved coldplay, and it was something we discovered together. we got to share things like that.
the exit on the freeway that leads to my house is "del amo." jesse would always tell me that to him it read, "anthony." or "babybutt." he'd always call me babybutt. yeah. that was great. i guess it really didn't matter what he called me, it was just the fact that he wanted to call me something cute.
he used to growl at me. not the angry growl, but the cute little kitten growl. he was pretty small, so it just fit. jesse was about 5'5 and he had light brown eyes. he had this goofy, but cute smile. he told me that if we ever broke up, that i'm not allowed to growl at anyone, because that's his growl.
even though jesse was almost a year older than me, it felt like he was the younger one in the relationship. i felt like i had to take care of him. and i liked that. i made sure he ate. i'd bring him food. (sometimes, he'd bring me food to work.) i was constantly reminding him that a beer really isn't the same thing as half a sandwich.
i remember always switching clothes with him. he'd always like to layer up with my bigger clothes, and i'd wear his, since they were mediums and would fit snug. in fact, my favorite "Crapple" shirt was his. it's big on me, but that's how jesse was, he'd always like to wear big clothes. he was just so small and skinny.
he always told me that when he dies, he'd want to come back as a fat cherub.
i hope he calls me soon. when i move and i finally change my number to a (415), there would be no way of jesse to get a hold of me. i'm sure he'd contact me via IM, but he's hardly ever online. and he's always changing his screenames.
well, either way, i'm sure i haven't seen the last of him.
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